The Seven Function Remote Bullet by CalExotics is a cordless, remote control bullet that just screams torture device (in a good way). Unfortunately I discovered from my last bullet review that I’m not really a fan of bullets. I’ve found though that the cord—or lack thereof—makes all the difference in the quality of play experience.
It’s made of PU coated plastic (aka velvet cote), and no the “PU” doesn’t mean it has a weird smell or taste. Velvet Cote is not a superb option for sharing unless you don’t mind using a condom or are fluid bonded. It can only be cleaned with soap and water but at least it’s phthalates free. The texture is smooth but is comparable to that of silicone since it still has a bit of a grip to it, which I really like in a vibrator. It can be used with both silicone and water based lubes.
The bullet can be used internally as well as externally because it does have a retrieval cord, but it should not be used anally since it could easily be lost and lead to an awkward hospital visit. At 2 1/2″ diameter (3 3/4″ circumference) it’s quite filling for a bullet, but its too short at 3″ to give a completely full feeling. Internal vibrations are relatively uninteresting for me so I prefer to use this as a clit vibe. For those interested in torturing or being tortured, it can be situated inside underwear if you prefer clit stimulation, but note that its size makes it a dead giveaway if you’re trying to be discreet. It’s also marketed as waterproof and does have an o-ring where the bullet unscrews, but unfortunately I didn’t get to put that aspect to the test.
The cordless remote is very small and can be slipped in a pocket without anyone the wiser. It has one red LED light at the top that lights up when a button is pressed. There are four buttons total: plus and minus buttons to control the speed of vibrations, a function button, and a power button. It also has an antenna to increase the range which is about 26′ or 8m and a loop at the bottom for those wanting to attach it to a key chain.
Overall the vibrations are pretty average in strength, so the odds are your partner won’t come to orgasm with only this between their legs. It does have seven functions and seven speeds so it’s really great for teasing. The seven different functions are:
Based on the packaging I’m assuming this product is marketed to be used in public, but the vibrations aren’t quiet enough for me to feel comfortable. They shouldn’t be a giveaway in loud places like a club, however.
I really want to like this bullet because of the increased usefulness due to it being cordless, but there’s one big downside to this toy: the batteries are a serious pain. The bullet takes four watch batteries (which are included) but they’re very difficult to insert correctly because they like to flip around. Furthermore, the base doesn’t want to twist on properly unless you’ve gotten the batteries in just right. Prepare to spend ten minutes or more just messing with the batteries; what a headache. Thankfully the control pack only takes one 1-12V, because although it’s a hard battery to find it goes in without any trouble.
Unlike corded bullets you have so many more options with a cordless bullet. You can tie your partner up and slip it in their underwear and tease them until they beg for you, use it in public on a hot date to spice things up and it into an entire foreplay session, or simply use it during either a partnered or a solo session.
I do want to recommend this bullet for bullet lovers or those who want to experiment with something different, but the price tag of $60.99 MSRP, the super troublesome batteries, and the fact mine stopped working in less than a handful of uses… Well I don’t think I need to say more. It’s really a great concept, especially for those into exhibitionism or bondage, but it needs to be taken back to the drawing board.