I’m back.

After nearly three years since my last review, I’m back. But this time I don’t want Purely Sullied to be all glossed over and perfect. From now on the content will be 100% unfiltered me.

When I first launched PS I was mainly promoted through an affiliate program that encouraged a fluffy, happy-go-lucky style of writing. At the time I was also still very young and inexperienced. Hell, I still am, but I have personally evolved quite a lot from when I was first discovering sex and my sexuality to now. And when I look back, I don’t see how approaching sex from that angle is going to benefit anyone.

In 2008 when I first joined the toy community, it was a preface for self discovery. While I think toys have been a positive contributor to exploring sexuality, there is a tremendous amount of discovery to do without them. Although I reviewed, I rarely touched on my actual experiences with sex and as I age, that’s becoming more important to me.

Henceforth, my goal with this site is to include a smörgåsbord of writings and reviews. I still have a large backlog of unreviewed toys, but furthermore my preferences and tolerance of materials I’ll even allow in the bedroom has solidified by now. I won’t be reviewing anything other than safe, high quality toys because everything else should die in a fire.

I’ve kept my old content. While the writing may be shite and might no longer reflect my opinions, there were a few bad ass toys that I still love. There are some I may revise, if not all. Until then, please take them with a grain of salt.

Stop by from time to time as I add new, uncensored content. In the mean time feel free to chat with me via Twitter or peruse a ridiculous amount of dils on my Tumblr.


[Smut Fic] Defeated

I sunk my cock deep into his ass, over and over. His tight sphincter held and squeezed me with every sharp gasp. I pulled out, only to reinsert slowly, relishing the way he tugged me back in. The flesh immediately blushed where my palms had just viciously struck; the sharp claps were drowned out by his voice. I grabbed his hips, using them as leverage while I plowed into him, unforgiving. Reaching up to his neck, I dug my nails into his spine and painted the red stripes all the way down to his tailbone. But despite my aggressiveness, it was he who was still getting the better of me. On the edge, my body stiffened, unable to carry on.

Before release, I retreated by collapsing on the floor. The carpet scratched at my backside with every twitch. He crouched over my chest, pausing to look into my eyes before straddling my face. His own hot member pushed against my cheek, passed my lips, depressed my tongue. Already overstimulated, I only allowed my fingertips to dance over my shaft. However, he too was worked up and throbbing. I could feel his pleasure through his staggering thrusts as he fucked my mouth. But with one final jab he was thrown over the edge when his dick hit the back of my throat. His breathing stopped in surprise but as the cum seeped down my throat, his breath came out as one long moan.

His legs quivered against me as I licked him clean. Sluggishly, he moved to my side, kissing me and tasting himself. Upon noticing I had not yet reached my climax, he grabbed me firmly and pumped my cock with urgency. I squirmed against his unexpected vigor. Every nerve in my body screamed each time he grazed the tip, until all my senses paused in that one final second. He muffled my cries with his lips as I unloaded onto my stomach. We held each other silently as our breaths slowed and quieted. My cum squished against our stomachs, sticking us together. We kissed lazily until all that remained was the darkness of sleep.

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No Thanks Reviews


Maximus is a masculine Latin word meaning “the greatest” which was clearly the intention of the manufacturer, but they couldn’t be more inaccurate. It’s a water based lubricant which has very high ratings most places, and at around $2 per ounce I’m sure most people think it’s a steal. When I first got this lubricant a couple years ago I was also under the guise that it’s awesome. It stays slick throughout the entire session, is flavorless, and the pump is makes re-lubrication a cinch for those unexpected dry spells. However, my vagina hates this toxic goo with a passion.

At the time I really wasn’t concerned with chemicals or how they effected the body, except when it came to toy materials. I had also already heard all sorts of bad news about parabens, but I stupidly shrugged off that entire notion and continued to violate myself with this nasty product. In the beginning I never experienced any adverse reactions, but gradually I began to experience some slight after-sex burning, and finally became immediately sensitive upon application. Youch.

In this past year I’ve become somewhat hyper-aware of ingredients and one look at the label has me smacking this stuff away with a ten foot pole.

Highly Purified Water, Propylene Glycol Cellulose Polymer, Di Sodium EDTA, Phenoxyethanol, Methyl Paraben, Butyl Paraben, Ethyl Paraben, Propyl Paraben.

Besides the obvious and well known correlation between cancer and parabens, the phenoxyethanol is another criminal here. Phenoxyethanol is known for skin irritation (bingo) and organ toxicity. Combined with Disodium EDTA which enhances skin absorption, this lube is totally no bueno.

Please, for the love of vaginas everywhere, stay the hell away from this stuff. If you need a lube, water based or otherwise, be sure to check out Sliquid, which is significantly more natural, paraben free, and vegan for those animal lovers out there.

For those interested in learning more about ingredients but don’t have access to scientific databases, please check out the Environmental Working Group and Skin Deep.

Archived [Old] It's Okay... Reviews Velvet Cote (PU Coated Plastic) Vibrators

[Old] Review: 7 Function Flop

The Seven Function Remote Bullet by CalExotics is a cordless, remote control bullet that just screams torture device (in a good way). Unfortunately I discovered from my last bullet review that I’m not really a fan of bullets. I’ve found though that the cord—or lack thereof—makes all the difference in the quality of play experience.

7 Function Remote Bullet
It’s made of PU coated plastic (aka velvet cote), and no the “PU” doesn’t mean it has a weird smell or taste. Velvet Cote is not a superb option for sharing unless you don’t mind using a condom or are fluid bonded. It can only be cleaned with soap and water but at least it’s phthalates free. The texture is smooth but is comparable to that of silicone since it still has a bit of a grip to it, which I really like in a vibrator. It can be used with both silicone and water based lubes.

The bullet can be used internally as well as externally because it does have a retrieval cord, but it should not be used anally since it could easily be lost and lead to an awkward hospital visit. At 2 1/2″ diameter (3 3/4″ circumference) it’s quite filling for a bullet, but its too short at 3″ to give a completely full feeling. Internal vibrations are relatively uninteresting for me so I prefer to use this as a clit vibe. For those interested in torturing or being tortured, it can be situated inside underwear if you prefer clit stimulation, but note that its size makes it a dead giveaway if you’re trying to be discreet. It’s also marketed as waterproof and does have an o-ring where the bullet unscrews, but unfortunately I didn’t get to put that aspect to the test. read more »

Archived [Old] Kink, Etc Must Haves Reviews

[Old] Review: Sliquid Cherry Vanilla Swirl (Heads UP Kit 3/3)

Old, crappy review but Sliquid is still the best stuff ever.

If you haven’t, please read part one and two which review the Heads UP DVD and LingO tongue ring.

The final and most tasty piece of the Heads UP Kit is Sliquid’s Cherry Vanilla Swirl lubricant. It’s one of six flavors in their Swirl line, and the others are Pina Colada, Green Apple, Blue Raspberry, Pink Lemonade, and Strawberry Pomegranate. I’ll be honest, Cherry Vanilla is not my first pick but it’s probably the most “average” flavor and well suited for a kit.

Cherry VanillaNote: Don’t actually put this on your ice cream.

Just like I gushed over Sliquid products in my Sliquid Sea review, I’m just as impressed by their Swirl line. It comes in the same style of push top bottle that doesn’t leak which is a must. The 4.2 oz bottle will last for months and is worth shelling out a few extra bucks instead of buying cheap drugstore lube. Why? Not only does Sliquid Swirl taste delicious, it’s glycerin and paraben free, hypoallergenic, and vegan.

Ingredients: Purified water, plant cellulose (from cotton), cyamopsis (guar conditioners), cherry & vanilla flavoring, aspartame, potassium sorbate, citric acid.

The ingredient list is short and doesn’t have any surprises, except that it contains aspartame, which many people avoid for several reasons. I won’t get too deeply into it, but aspartame is a sugar substitute and we all know that sugar and vaginae don’t mix (hello yeast infection). However, since aspartame has a different composition than sugar—and I’m no scientist—I don’t know exactly how it will react with the vagina. I can say that so far I’ve had no issue at all. read more »